So Wednesday night was opening night the Macquarie University Touch Football (meaning Rugby) league. I was pumped to get in there and mix it up, ready to dominate as usual, had the cleats on, rocking the team uni, and then I met the team. Couple of American guys who have no clue how to play, that's fine I think to myself, Aussies will come and teach us. Two Aussie girls show up, they have played before but apparently "forgot" the rules. Aussie guy strolls onto the pitch, I ask him if he has played. He says yes. I said can you explain the rules to the Americanos. He says he has to put his shoes on. So we only have 7 players, you play 6 on the field, 4 guys and 2 girls, so we had one sub. Girls had no sub. There I am immediately thinking that things are not looking good. With my one career game of touch footy under my belt, I am trying to explain the rules, then the ref asks for team captains. So I look at my squad, nobody wants to be captain, I think to myself, this team needs a leader, so I immediately annoint myself Captain Iron Mike. No voting, I just said I will be captain, they said cool, and all was good. So the game starts, I line up at the center of the field ready to start the play. I look behind me and my team is leaning on the face like 50 yards back. It was then that I knew was going to be a very long game. We got degraded. The other team just steamrolled us. I was hating every minute of it. I was trying to make things happen out there but I am only one man. At one point I danced through 3 players on their team, only to see the rest of their team closing in on me with nobody from my team in sight. In the end we lost like 9-0. And I am pretty sure my lung collapsed from the motivational speech I tried giving at halftime. I think I played 37 minutes of the 40. Oh ya, 3 girls on our team turn up late, and say they will play next week. Play, hahaha, not when Captain Iron Mike runs the show. They will be riding pine, muhahaha. I kind of feel like Charlie Conway from the Mighty Ducks movie, except I am lacking an Emilio Estevez-like figure to guide me to the promised land. Emilio where are you?

So after that debacle of a Wednesday night we can move on to my debacle of all of Thursday. So Thursday was wine tour day. Nice day in the Hunter Valley, have some wine, enjoy the weather, sleep on the bus and go home right? Not at all. Start getting into the wine tasting when I immediately figure out the best way to go about this. Just point at bottles, say you want to buy stuff for your parents, and just taste everything in sight. So by the end of the wine tour I was feeling quite good. This is when I arrived at a crossroads. Do I go home or go to the bar? Well, I was gonna go home, when I heard the voice of an angel say "Beers are $2 at the bar." I did some quick calculations in my mind and realized it would be more expensive for me to go home than to go to the bar. So I went to the bar. And then we descend into chaos. There are those nights where you are on fire, well last night was one of those nights. Actually, it was more like a bonfire. I was still feeling quite good from the wine, and 6 double fists and $24 later, feeling even better. Then it was time for the dancefloor. I pulled out everything I had, I was absolutely dynamic out there. I wish I had video footage cause it was unreal. I had a circle formed around me at one point and when I left the circle I had a girl ask me if I had any more dance moves left. Well I looked her right in the eye and said "I've got more tricks than Houdini out here baby." And I strutted (stumbled) away. Best thing ever. That was definately a night for the books, wish I could have had some support out there, could have used a wingman.....